The Craziest Ride of All (so far)

Ever since I started this little cab-driving adventure, people have never shied away from asking me,

"What's the wildest, craziest thing that's ever happened during one of your rides?"

For reasons unbeknownst to me ... there's a resounding, public belief that one can only drive for so long before a passenger inevitably vomits all over the car or leaves some other manner of residual stain to be cleaned up.   I might be lucky and this might be slightly uninteresting to report, but ... nothing like that has ever happened to me ... at least not yet (fingers crossed).

Also, contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of my passengers are not drunken buffoons. They're not all mindless, spoiled socialites either. In fact, if I was pressed to do so, I'd find it very difficult to lump so many different kinds of people into one social category.  I've driven hipsters and nerds, yuppies and tourists, minor celebrities and nobodies, high-school students and retirees alike.  White, black, gay, straight, male, female, young, old ... my passengers are decidedly all sorts of everything. But I guess if you forced me to describe one quality that they all share ... well I'd have to say that they're all unpredictable.  Of course, not knowing what is going to happen is definitely where the crazy and unexpected are always most likely to occur.  And since I wouldn't want to disappoint the curious minds of my readers ... here's just a sampling of the insanity that can take place during an on-demand cab ride:

It was a Saturday evening, and I had just picked up a very nice group of 20-somethings who were on their way out for a night on the town.  With 3 passengers in the back and one in the front next to me, it was going to be a short, maybe 5-10 minute ride to one of the most popular watering holes in the city.  I'm sure we were probably having a very pleasant conversation, but in all honestly, I can't remember one thing about the discussion because of what happened about half way through the ride.

As we cruised below an overpass ... we all witnessed what can only be described as a sudden and inexplicable pigeon suicide attempt.  

I kid you not, we couldn't help but watch as this poor, plump squab decided to end it all by dive-bombing directly into the asphalt in front of us. Perhaps it saw a tasty morsel on the ground that it just couldn't ignore?  Perhaps it simply miscalculated the physical dynamics of the space, and it was thrown off by a sudden gust of wind?  Unfortunately ... we'll never know.

And before we could pause to consider the wind-speed velocity of the possibly depressed (but not coconut-laden) bird; before we could even react to this horrific avian tragedy ... another pigeon must have decided that it just couldn't live without it's friend . Except this time, suicidal bird #2 must have confused my dark-grey car with the black beyond of the asphalt.  This time ... the pigeon decided to kamikaze straight through my open window, grazing my left shoulder en route to a feathery explosion as it crashed into the chest of an unsuspecting passenger in the backseat.

It sounds like something out of a movie right?  Afterwards I actually found myself thinking that it was something you might have seen from those funny talking pigeons on "Animaniacs".

"The Goodfeathers"

But 1990s cartoons aside, suffice it to say, we were all completely shocked.  If we didn't experience it together I doubt that any of us would've believed that such a thing could be possible ... but it was one of those moments when you can only react by saying:

THAT. JUST. HAPPENED.  

After I slammed on the brakes, and amidst the chaos, screams, and hysterical laughter, we were pleased to discover that this lunatic bird somehow survived and was flopping around on the floor. All told, between the moment of impact and finally getting the pigeon out of the car, maybe 20-30 seconds had passed ... but in that short time, our lives (or at least the way in which we think about pigeons and overpasses) had certainly changed forever.      

Now I know that it could've happened to anyone at any time ... but the fact that it happened to us as we participated in the relatively new "ride-sharing" experience, made it all the more special. We shared a truly UBER moment that night and I strongly believe it's the context of that moment, which instantly forged such an unforgettable memory.  And while surely not all rides/stories will end up being quite this bizarre, I hope we all can remember to embrace the stories we experience together ... no matter how crazy they get.

UBER On!!!