The Craziest Ride of All (so far)

Ever since I started this little cab-driving adventure, people have never shied away from asking me,

"What's the wildest, craziest thing that's ever happened during one of your rides?"

For reasons unbeknownst to me ... there's a resounding, public belief that one can only drive for so long before a passenger inevitably vomits all over the car or leaves some other manner of residual stain to be cleaned up.   I might be lucky and this might be slightly uninteresting to report, but ... nothing like that has ever happened to me ... at least not yet (fingers crossed).

Also, contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of my passengers are not drunken buffoons. They're not all mindless, spoiled socialites either. In fact, if I was pressed to do so, I'd find it very difficult to lump so many different kinds of people into one social category.  I've driven hipsters and nerds, yuppies and tourists, minor celebrities and nobodies, high-school students and retirees alike.  White, black, gay, straight, male, female, young, old ... my passengers are decidedly all sorts of everything. But I guess if you forced me to describe one quality that they all share ... well I'd have to say that they're all unpredictable.  Of course, not knowing what is going to happen is definitely where the crazy and unexpected are always most likely to occur.  And since I wouldn't want to disappoint the curious minds of my readers ... here's just a sampling of the insanity that can take place during an on-demand cab ride:

It was a Saturday evening, and I had just picked up a very nice group of 20-somethings who were on their way out for a night on the town.  With 3 passengers in the back and one in the front next to me, it was going to be a short, maybe 5-10 minute ride to one of the most popular watering holes in the city.  I'm sure we were probably having a very pleasant conversation, but in all honestly, I can't remember one thing about the discussion because of what happened about half way through the ride.

As we cruised below an overpass ... we all witnessed what can only be described as a sudden and inexplicable pigeon suicide attempt.  

I kid you not, we couldn't help but watch as this poor, plump squab decided to end it all by dive-bombing directly into the asphalt in front of us. Perhaps it saw a tasty morsel on the ground that it just couldn't ignore?  Perhaps it simply miscalculated the physical dynamics of the space, and it was thrown off by a sudden gust of wind?  Unfortunately ... we'll never know.

And before we could pause to consider the wind-speed velocity of the possibly depressed (but not coconut-laden) bird; before we could even react to this horrific avian tragedy ... another pigeon must have decided that it just couldn't live without it's friend . Except this time, suicidal bird #2 must have confused my dark-grey car with the black beyond of the asphalt.  This time ... the pigeon decided to kamikaze straight through my open window, grazing my left shoulder en route to a feathery explosion as it crashed into the chest of an unsuspecting passenger in the backseat.

It sounds like something out of a movie right?  Afterwards I actually found myself thinking that it was something you might have seen from those funny talking pigeons on "Animaniacs".

"The Goodfeathers"

But 1990s cartoons aside, suffice it to say, we were all completely shocked.  If we didn't experience it together I doubt that any of us would've believed that such a thing could be possible ... but it was one of those moments when you can only react by saying:

THAT. JUST. HAPPENED.  

After I slammed on the brakes, and amidst the chaos, screams, and hysterical laughter, we were pleased to discover that this lunatic bird somehow survived and was flopping around on the floor. All told, between the moment of impact and finally getting the pigeon out of the car, maybe 20-30 seconds had passed ... but in that short time, our lives (or at least the way in which we think about pigeons and overpasses) had certainly changed forever.      

Now I know that it could've happened to anyone at any time ... but the fact that it happened to us as we participated in the relatively new "ride-sharing" experience, made it all the more special. We shared a truly UBER moment that night and I strongly believe it's the context of that moment, which instantly forged such an unforgettable memory.  And while surely not all rides/stories will end up being quite this bizarre, I hope we all can remember to embrace the stories we experience together ... no matter how crazy they get.

UBER On!!!                      

Aspiring to be ... UBER

As yet another nail-biting, directionless millenial, I hope that in writing this, I can speak on behalf of a decidedly anxious and impatient generation.  While our sense of entitlement and our use of hash-tags must surely seem obnoxious in the context of cultural evolution, there is hope in knowing that our insatiable thirst for instant gratification has indeed inspired some of the most important new ideas and changes of our lifetime.  

Now I'd never go so far as to say that I've been on the forefront of these changes ... I can't bring myself to say "totes magotes" without the fear of losing brain-cells and I doubt that I'll ever understand the widespread fascination in status updates.  But I am proud to say that there is one bandwagon that I'm not only riding, but I'm actually helping to drive as well. And as I struggle to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life ... my adventures as an on-demand cab driver have inspired new confidence in my ability to contribute to a movement that is changing the world, and decisively changing it for the better.   

Seeking to document the hilarity and the humanity of the journeys I take with my passengers, I've titled this blog: UBERmensch - not only to cleverly reference the company I now partner with, but also to utilize the various denotations and connotations of the metaphor itself.

The word UBER certainly has a buzz to it these days, but long before this German adjective was popularized into our vernacular, one of the most commonly known references came from a book written by Friedrich Nietzsche.  For him the UBERmensch was an ideal that individuals and society alike should strive toward ... something that was (by definition) above, greater than, or even superior to the mundane reality of the human condition.  While controversial, Nietzsche's metaphor has had a profound impact on human history, ranging from Hitler using the concept as an ideological foundation for national socialism, to the basis of the comic-book character: Superman (another translation of UBERmensch).  To take it even further, the other half of this word/phrase - mensch - is not only the German word for man or human, but in the Jewish tradition, to be a mensch also means to be righteous, respectful, compassionate or as Spike Lee would say ... to "always do the right thing".

So in a way, to truly be a mensch, you first have to aspire to be UBER. I won't lie though ... when I first looked into it, good intentions had nothing to do with my signing up for the job.  For me, it was a fun, easy way to make money as I transition from my old career into whatever the hell I end up doing next.  It never occurred to me that by enlisting in the ranks of this new and exciting industry that I'd be doing anything more than helping people avoid the nightmare of urban parking.  But then I started to meet my passengers and I began to discover that beyond giving these people rides around town, I was also filling a role that is quickly introducing a new sort of human interactive dynamic.

We so rarely get to dive into a stranger's life, even for the briefest of moments, and more and more I feel like our society is becoming less inclined to do so.  However through the wonder of technology, the security of a sound background check, and within the intimacy of a clean, and privately-owned vehicle, we're finding new ways to break through that barrier and really start to get to know one another again.  I can only speak for myself, but I can't remember the last time I felt so connected to humanity, and whatever good I'm doing for my passengers, they certainly are returning the favor a hundred times over.

In a way, I guess that's why I've started to write about the experience.  These annals will be a tribute to the people I've met and continue to meet, and I hope that my writing will serve as a resounding "thank you" for sharing just a piece of their lives with me.  Hopefully the resulting stories will make you laugh and maybe, just maybe make you think about how something like this is having such an UBER impact all over the world.  We're all really lucky to be a part of such a very exciting moment in human history, for as we continue to change how we move around, we're also changing the ways in which we identify with one another.  And in a world where true interaction is more likely to occur accross the spindlings of the internet than they are in person, it really is amazing to scream ... or maybe just to blog out loud ... that yes my friends, the times, they are a-changin'.

UBER On!